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Haiku - Spiky! [Jan. 14th, 2004|04:35 pm]
Haiku

quail_cam

[tjhara]
[mood |coldcold]
[music |Dasein. (Help Me)]

This week's Haiku!

---After the intro music, Gackt slowly pads down the stairs alone, and looks around for a moment, not speaking. Just as the crowd begins to whine, Hyde dances down after him.--

G: *looks back* I was wondering when you were going to turn up.

H: I was practising my smile. So...

G: Why ever do you need to practise it?

H: Well, you said my smile was a sin~~

H: And THEN, you said I was an angel. So, I figured I must need a holier smile.

G: ... ... *pulls a silly face*. Well, that's a new one.

H: So I was trying one a bit like this... "^.^"

G: You look like a cat...

H: Hmm... how about... ":)"

G: You are adorable.

H: *bow* So, who's on this week?

G: Apparently... some guys from some Indies band that I've never heard of.

H: Ohhh.

H: *flops on couch*

G: I really think we should get on with this. I mean, I'm sure people love staring at you lain out there... but..

G: Well, truth be told, I'm very. ... .. Cut to the Quail Cam.

*shots of quails wandering sleepily around and eating grain*

G: .. they're actually more boring than me this week.

H: Even the quails are bored...

G: Don't suppose you remember the name of this band, do you? I can't introduce them as "Thingy", can I?

H: .. oh, the spiney people?

H: Spiny? Slimy?

G: .. Slippy? ... Porcupine Tree?

H: I know!! Harry and the Hedgehogs!!

G: I don't hear anybody cheering....

H: ..no? I think we should ask the quails!!

G: I haven't heard them speak. *picks one up* What do you think?

G: ... ... .. she says she thinks we're really not funny, and we're wasting prime time television time.

H: Ah. how about we ask the ones carrying letters that spell out SPIKY in their beaks?

G: Well.. that could be an idea..

G: Okay, alright, Come on out - Introducing, Masa, Matchy and Dai! SPIKY!

Masa: *smiles, waves and starts to walk down the stairs, dragging Dai behind him by a large polka-dotted tie*

G: *grins* Thought you weren't going to make it through makeup on time - how long ago did you get here - ten minutes?

Masa: *grin*

Dai: -.-; *is dragged unwilling by Masa, muttering about cows* ... *sits down in the middle of the floor, glaring at Masa*

Matchy: *sproings down the stairs, balancing a large mug of coffee and some novelty straws*

Masa: *pets Dai on the head* Well, we're here now.

Dai: *tries to bite Masa's fingers, still muttering*

G: *laugh* Well, welcome to the show.

G: This is Sa~aaa, this is the sofa, these are the quails, that funny looking bunch out there are your audience. Take a seat *gestures to the sofa*

Masa: *grin* Dai, down boy. *stroke* *takes a seat*

Dai: *stares at the audience* ... Why do some of them look like monkeys? *squints*

Masa: Dunno.... *squints*

G: *conceals a chuckle* I don't think they do... *squint*

Dai: *tilts his head* ... That actually might be KG's mother.

H: no, they're just not as pretty as me. *plays with his hair*

H: But anyway, lets take this moment to discuss the size of Gackt’s feet.

G: o_o

Masa: his feet are actually smaller than the shoes make them out to be. I think Dai has bigger feet ^_^

Dai: ... *grins* And you know what they say about big feet.

H: big shoes and wholey socks~ ^___^

Matchy: *mutters something about coffee beans and wanders offstage*

G: *quiet grin*

H: Actually, Gackt has requested we all stop talking about his Magnum so often.

G: o_o;; *starts going slightly red*

H: So all of you who want to know if it really is bigger than a banana, just don't ask, please.

G: *goes bright red*

Masa: And it isn't, incidentally.

H: Really? I'd never thought to take a banana out during the act and compare... *ponders bananas and magnums*

Dai: ... no bananas? *tsks*

H: no bananas.

G: *colour slooowly begins to drain out of his face*

Dai: What about strawberries?

Masa: Sex is good with strawberries.

H: but Gackt's bigger than a strawberry!!

Dai: Yeah, but we're talking about fruit here.

Matchy: *wanders back in with a giant kettle and some coffee-powder* *sits down on the floor*

Masa: Yeah, how about tomatoes? I hear they're fruits too.

G: *gets up and sits next to the quails*

Dai: .... is Gackt bigger than one?

H: Quails like tomatoes, and yes.

H: Though maybe if you stuck three or four tomatoes on a stick..?

Masa: Are we talking plum tomatoes, regular tomatoes or cherry tomatoes?

Dai: Regular. *nod*

G: Cucumbers.

G: .. .. *cringes as he regrets that*

H: Cucumbers...

Masa: Well...

Dai: What would you say Masa? Yes or no?

G: Are Fruit. >>

Masa:... mm... didn't feel like a cucumber width...

H: O_O You've slept with a CUCUMBER?!

Dai: *blinks* Well, you're a fruit too. o_o *considers it a fact of life*

G: *pretends to ignore the conversation and shuffles over to Matchy*

Matchy: *engrossed in the science of making the world's strongest coffee*

G: *watches, engrossed* *beckons a camera over*

Masa: *considers* I think we should get a cucumber and see...

H: Well, we could...

G: O_O .. >
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This week's Haiku!

<lj-cut text="Long transcription">---After the intro music, Gackt slowly pads down the stairs alone, and looks around for a moment, not speaking. Just as the crowd begins to whine, Hyde dances down after him.--

G: *looks back* I was wondering when you were going to turn up.

H: I was practising my smile. So...

G: Why ever do you need to practise it?

H: Well, you said my smile was a sin~~

H: And THEN, you said I was an angel. So, I figured I must need a holier smile.

G: ... ... *pulls a silly face*. Well, that's a new one.

H: So I was trying one a bit like this... "^.^"

G: You look like a cat...

H: Hmm... how about... ":)"

G: You are adorable.

H: *bow* So, who's on this week?

G: Apparently... some guys from some Indies band that I've never heard of.

H: Ohhh.

H: *flops on couch*

G: I really think we should get on with this. I mean, I'm sure people love staring at you lain out there... but..

G: Well, truth be told, I'm very. ... .. Cut to the Quail Cam.

<font color="#ff0000">*shots of quails wandering sleepily around and eating grain*</font>

G: .. they're actually more boring than me this week.

H: Even the quails are bored...

G: Don't suppose you remember the name of this band, do you? I can't introduce them as "Thingy", can I?

H: .. oh, the spiney people?

H: Spiny? Slimy?

G: .. Slippy? ... Porcupine Tree?

H: I know!! Harry and the Hedgehogs!!

G: I don't hear anybody cheering....

H: ..no? I think we should ask the quails!!

G: I haven't heard them speak. *picks one up* What do you think?

G: ... ... .. she says she thinks we're really not funny, and we're wasting prime time television time.

H: Ah. how about we ask the ones carrying letters that spell out <b>SPIKY</b> in their beaks?

G: Well.. that could be an idea..

G: Okay, alright, Come on out - Introducing, Masa, Matchy and Dai! SPIKY!

Masa: *smiles, waves and starts to walk down the stairs, dragging Dai behind him by a large polka-dotted tie*

G: *grins* Thought you weren't going to make it through makeup on time - how long ago did you get here - ten minutes?

Masa: *grin*

Dai: -.-; *is dragged unwilling by Masa, muttering about cows* ... *sits down in the middle of the floor, glaring at Masa*

Matchy: *sproings down the stairs, balancing a large mug of coffee and some novelty straws*

Masa: *pets Dai on the head* Well, we're here now.

Dai: *tries to bite Masa's fingers, still muttering*

G: *laugh* Well, welcome to the show.

G: This is Sa~aaa, this is the sofa, these are the quails, that funny looking bunch out there are your audience. Take a seat *gestures to the sofa*

Masa: *grin* Dai, down boy. *stroke* *takes a seat*

Dai: *stares at the audience* ... Why do some of them look like monkeys? *squints*

Masa: Dunno.... *squints*

G: *conceals a chuckle* I don't think they do... *squint*

Dai: *tilts his head* ... That actually might be KG's mother.

H: no, they're just not as pretty as me. *plays with his hair*

H: But anyway, lets take this moment to discuss the size of Gackt’s feet.

G: o_o

Masa: his feet are actually smaller than the shoes make them out to be. I think Dai has bigger feet ^_^

Dai: ... *grins* And you know what they say about big feet.

H: big shoes and wholey socks~ ^___^

Matchy: *mutters something about coffee beans and wanders offstage*

G: *quiet grin*

H: Actually, Gackt has requested we all stop talking about his Magnum so often.

G: o_o;; *starts going slightly red*

H: So all of you who want to know if it really is bigger than a banana, just don't ask, please.

G: *goes bright red*

Masa: And it isn't, incidentally.

H: Really? I'd never thought to take a banana out during the act and compare... *ponders bananas and magnums*

Dai: ... no bananas? *tsks*

H: no bananas.

G: *colour slooowly begins to drain out of his face*

Dai: What about strawberries?

Masa: Sex is good with strawberries.

H: but Gackt's bigger than a strawberry!!

Dai: Yeah, but we're talking about fruit here.

Matchy: *wanders back in with a giant kettle and some coffee-powder* *sits down on the floor*

Masa: Yeah, how about tomatoes? I hear they're fruits too.

G: *gets up and sits next to the quails*

Dai: .... is Gackt bigger than one?

H: Quails like tomatoes, and yes.

H: Though maybe if you stuck three or four tomatoes on a stick..?

Masa: Are we talking plum tomatoes, regular tomatoes or cherry tomatoes?

Dai: Regular. *nod*

G: Cucumbers.

G: .. .. *cringes as he regrets that*

H: Cucumbers...

Masa: Well...

Dai: What would you say Masa? Yes or no?

G: Are Fruit. >>

Masa:... mm... didn't feel like a cucumber width...

H: O_O You've slept with a CUCUMBER?!

Dai: *blinks* Well, you're a fruit too. o_o *considers it a fact of life*

G: *pretends to ignore the conversation and shuffles over to Matchy*

Matchy: *engrossed in the science of making the world's strongest coffee*

G: *watches, engrossed* *beckons a camera over*

Masa: *considers* I think we should get a cucumber and see...

H: Well, we could...

G: O_O .. ><: *coffee* *watches*

Dai: *checks his pockets* I don't have any with me.

Masa: Try your bag.

Dai: *growlpout* You took it from me when you dragged me on stage.

Masa: Ahh...

H: talking about bags, I saw something really revolting the other day. A tomato-ketchup flavoured condom!

Dai: ... *blinks* How does that have to do with bags? o_o

H: Uhm...

Masa: It doesn’t, does it...

Dai: ... think they make bags in the shape of ketchup bottles?

G: *gets up and sits back on the sofa* o_o

Masa: yeah, they do.

Dai: *gasp!* Why didn't you tell me? ;_;

Masa: I knew you'd buy one, and then go to every restaurant stealing all the free sachets of ketchup to put in there.

Dai: .... yeah, and?

H: technically, it's not stealing if they're free sachets. And we were talking about ketchup flavoured condoms!!

G: Whereas stealing all the sugar sachets is not a bad thing, Masa?

Masa: *blush* no...?

G: In fact, what was that last one? A fork? *grins* from a posh restaurant!?

H: KETCHP FLAVOURED CONDOMS!!!

Dai: *grins* He learns from the best.

Masa: It was a black fork. Yeah *grins* me n Dai made a model of the Tokyo tower with free toothpicks once.

Dai: ... *glares at Matchy* And then he sat on it. *siiigh*

H: ... doesn't anyone here care that they make ketchup flavoured condoms???

G: Sa~aaa, nobody is going to buy one for you.

Matchy: I didn't sit on it, I was Godzilla. *sigh*

H: *lip wibbles*

G: *pets Matchy* ^.^ PLEASE can I keep him!?

Dai: You sat on it, you wig-wearing freak! o_o

Matchy: ..? It's not a wig, it just happens to be having an intimate relationship with my head, ok?! You're ALWAYS trying to get between me and Roxanne. *stirs coffee*

Dai: You have way too much coffee, you know that?

Matchy: *twitch*

G: *looks* Are you STIRRING that?

Matchy: .. it's more like "slicing", but yes.

G: Is the spoon bent?

H: I DIDNT WANT A KETCHUP FLAVOURED CONDOM~~

Matchy: no, I use a special implement.

Masa: you should know better than to get between Matchy and his Coffee.

G: Ahh. Sa~aaa~

H: ...*wibble*

Dai: I should. But if he attacks me hard enough, his wig will fall off. *nod*

G: Shhh~

Matchy: Juliet is not a wig.

Dai: I thought she was Roxanne.

Masa: she's a _hairpiece_, remember?

Matchy: O_O no, she's Juliet.

G: Who's Roxanne then?

Dai: ... You said Roxanne, oh hairy one. o_o

Matchy: she had a name change after they released that song about a prostitute called Roxanne, see?

G: .. I liked that song...

Masa: He's just tripped over his own tongue, you should leave him alone before he throws the coffee at you, it hurts...

Dai: So she changed it so she's named after a girl who gets married and has sex with some guy she's known for three days. Brilliant. And then she dies.

H: *goes over to the Quails and mournfully sings* #~Roxanne... you don't have to put on the red light...~#

Masa: Who was under-age, too.

Matchy: ... well, she wanted me to change my name to Romeo... O_O

G: I'm not sure it would suit you.

Dai: *stares at Matchy* So. She wants to kill you.

H: #~those days are over... you don't have to sell your body to the night~#

Matchy: .. O__O Juliet... wants.. to kill me..?!!

Audience: Awwwwwwwwwwwww @ Sa~aaa

H: *smiles sadly at the audience*

Dai: *nods* I think you need a new wig.

Matchy: JULIET IS NOT A WIG!!

Masa: HAIRPIECE!

Audience: *a couple of random Hyde fangirls faint, whilst others fight over who exactly he was smiling at*

H: *mutters* ketchup flavour... ><;;

Dai: OKAY! HAIRNAZIS!

G: Nazis!?

Masa: *helpfully* Hair communists?

Dai: Masa and Matchy are _hair_Nazis. *glare*

Masa: We prefer "hair elitists".

Dai: *Grumble* Can't blame me when millions of innocent _wigs_ are killed by these two.

H: #~Roxanne... you don't have to put on the red light....~#

Matchy: YOU WERE THE ONE WHO BACK-COMBED LUCY!!

Masa: yeah... that was savage, man. Savage.

Dai: <_< *coughs* Anyway. Cucumber condoms. Do they work.

Masa: When did we talk about cucumber condoms?!

H: #~walk the streets for money... you don't care if it's wrong or if it's right...~#

Dai: *points at the quails* Just now!

G: o____o

H: *thinks he's being pointed at* *hides*

Audience: *a small chant of "WE WANT HYDE!" starts up at the back of the studio*

H: *stands up and bows*

Audience: *squeal* *en mass*

Dai: ... I think Sa~aaa stole the show.

Matchy: *adds -something- to the coffee*

G: *gets up and peers into the quail pen* fooorever, lalalala~lalala~

H: *does a lil dance* Tadaaa~! *bow*

Masa: *blink*

Audience: *rapturous applause*

Masa: so what was all this about cucumber condoms?

Dai: Masa, go have sex with Gackt on stage with a cucumber condom, so they stop paying attention to Sa~aaa

Masa: I don’t have a cucumber condom...

Audience: *whimpers* *cries of "Poor Sa~aaa!" ensue, with much "awww"ing and "aaahhh"ing*

Dai: ... Well, go find a condom and put it on a cucumber, then take it off and use it. It's the same thing.

G: O______________________O;

H: *smiles*

Masa: Where am I going to get a cucumber at this time of night?

Dai: *Grins* There's one in my bag offstage~

Audience: *ritual chanting of "WE LOVE SA~AAA! WE LOVE SA~AAA!!"*

Masa: O__O why do you carry cucumbers in your bag?

G: *shakes his head, smiles slightly and walks off, petting Hyde on the head on his way out*

Dai: That's between me and XXXX. Now go.

Audience: *one or two "And Gackt too.."s from guilty fans*

H: *blinks at Gackt* *gets up and runs after him* *pounce*

G: *falls over* O_O

Masa: I'll get your bag, but I'm not playing with condoms.

Audience: *fan girl squeals*

Dai: *pouts* But the audience is going to take over if you don't.

Masa: No condom play.

Audience: CONDOM PLAY!!

Dai: ... see?

G: Why are we talking about condoms?!

H: ketchup flavoured condoms!!!

G: What about them?

Dai: Because you *points at Gackt* need to have sex with him *points at Masa* so they *points at audience* stop paying attention to Sa~aaa *points at Hyde*

Audience: *hushed embarrassed giggles*

G: With a condom?

Masa: ... uh..

Masa: *BLUSH*

Dai: *dryly*I'm sure they wouldn't mind if you didn't use one.

Masa: *uberblush* ... uh... e...uh..

Audience: *yet more giggles* *a few cheers too*

G: Well, apart from the fact that these lovely people would most surely be offended by naked men on their televisions, I think if we were after porn, we'd be on a different channel.

Dai: .. What channel is this anyway?

Masa: *goes to hide behind the sofa*

H: Good point, Gacchi. what channel is this?

G: Space Shower NHK.

Dai: ... You're naked in a shower.

Audience: *gasp*

G: Ah, I suppose so.

H: *laugh*

Masa: *hiding behind the sofa, blushing*

Dai: Well, have you ever taken a shower fully clothed?

Audience: *start to wonder where Masa has gone* *little whispers of "Masaaaaaaaa~"*

G: I like dry showers.

G: My hair doesn't get clean - but my clothes stay dry.

Dai: *thoughtful look* Do you like dry sex too?

H: O_O

G: *gets up and walks behind the sofa* *stands over Masa*

Masa: O__o?

Audience: *as a whole* Eeeeeewww! Gakkuuuuuuuuun~!

G: *grin* Dry sex is never as good as... ... uhm. Not dry sex. *drops behind the sofa*

Dai: .... sooo.

Masa: *cuddle Gackt behind sofa*

Audience: *whoops and cheers* *nervous giggles*

H: ... uhm... let's... uh, leave them to it..

Dai: *gets up and pokes Hyde* Sa~aaa. How long is this show?

Audience: *all at once* WE WANT QUAILS! *clap clap clap* WE WANT QUAILS! *clap clap clap*

G: *cuddle*

G: *pops out from behind the sofa* No feeding coffee to the quails >> << >> <<

H: I honestly don't know... here, let's play with the quails...

Matchy :*grin*

Audience: *cheers of "Quaaaaaaails~!" ensue*

G: Cut to the quail cam!

G: *drops back behind the sofa*

Masa: *cuddle Gackt~*

G: *gets up again* Tell you what. *the lights all dim down and he produces a torch*

Audience: OoooooOOoooOOoooooo~! *laughter*

H: ... I'm scared...

Audience: Awwwwwww~

H: no, really. something's chewing my leg.

Matchy: Oh, that’s you? Terribly sorry. There I was, thinking you were a giant coffee bean.

Matchy: *chews Dai's arm*

G: *pulls a face*...

Dai: *beats Matchy* Bad!

Matchy: oh... wrong again, sorry...

Matchy: *chews on the sofa*

G: *shines the torch at Matchy* Yes, he _is_ chewing the sofa.

Matchy: Oh, so I am...

Audience: *laughter* *calls of "Silly Matchy~!"*

Matchy: *goes back to trying to find his coffee-stirring utensil*

G: Uhm. Right. I had a good idea, and now I've gone and made a prat of myself by completely forgetting it.

Audience: Awwwwww..

Masa: How about you kiss me, right now. *pulls Gackt behind the sofa*

Audience: *cheers*

G: *drops the torch* *muffled* oh shit.

Dai: .... fire? o_o

Matchy: nono, if it was fire, we'd be able to see.

G: *sits up* FIRE!

Dai: Curses.

Masa: Get back here. *drags Gackt down*

Dai: *loudly* Masa's seducing Gackt~~

Audience: *worried noises*

H: Well... they _are_ married. I don’t think it counts. Maybe I should try seducing someone.

Dai: I don't suggest the quails.

Audience: *fangirls: "SEDUCE ME HAIDO! MEEE~!"*

H: Okay, duly noted, no quail seducing.

H: Girls, girls, I can seduce you from over here. No challenge. *laugh*

Dai: *nods* They're easy.

Audience: Fangirls: *dramatic sighs and back-of-hand-on-head-type movements*

G: *Sits up and points the torch at somebody in the audience* How about this nice young lady here?

H: *purrs* come on over~~~

Audience: Selected fan girl: *eyes go wide* *stutter* M-m-m-me..?

G: *nod* yes, you.

H: *chuckle* make your way down...

Fan girl: *little nervous look at friends* *friends push her over* *walks down to stage*

Fan girl: *tremble tremble tremble*

Dai: *tilts head* She looks like she's going to faint. Someone needs to turn off the sex.

Audience: *collective laughter*

H: mm.

Fan girl: *looks scared at audience*

G: *switches off the torch, leaving the entire room in darkness apart from low floor lighting*

Audience: Awwww~

G: Sorry, you did say lights, didn't you?

Matchy: you know, Dai, we're the only people in here not about to engage in sexual manoeuvres in the dark.

Audience: *extremely girly "Eeeee~"s when lights go off*

Dai: ... Yeah. Dude. That sucks.

Matchy: *squeezes Dai's thigh*

Dai: *gringrin* Why 'ello there~

Matchy: Want me to pass you a coffee bean... without using my hands...?

Fan girl: *looks lost* *or would if people could see the expression*

Dai: Just as long as you don't use your feet...

G: *gets up, vaults over the sofa, walks round the quails and walks right up into the audience* *Of course, none of you can see that.*

H: Hold on, I'll come and get you. *picks his way towards the girl*

Fan girl: ....... o_o??

G: *turns on the torch, standing right in the middle of the audience*

H: O_O HOW DID YOU GET THERE?!

G: ^^; Talent.

Audience: *gasp* *fan girl squeals* Eeeeeee~!! Gakkun Gakkun!!!

Matchy: *grabs Dai and plants a big kiss on his cheek*

G: I told you, I work better in the dark.

Masa: *sulk*

Audience: *too distracted by Gackt to notice the kiss*

G: *herds the fan girl down the stairs towards Hyde*

Dai: *grins some more* Matchy, the fangirls are ignoring us.

H: *smiles and holds out a hand to her*

Fan girl: *meeps* *walks as fast as she can from Gackt* o___________o

G: Am I that scary? o_o

Matchy: Oh, okayokay, how about you me and Masa get behind the sofa and get sexxxxxxy?

Fan girl: *looks at Hyde* *slowly takes hand* *bluuuuuuuuuuuuuush*

G: O_O HANDS OFF!

Fan girl: *squeak @ Gackt*

h O_O she's allowed, Gacchi~!!!

H: *kisses the girl's hand gently* *whispers* Enchanté...

G: o_o; hnn? Uhm. *flops down and sits on the stairs* *points weakly* I meant Matchy.

G: Not hands off Matchy.. uhm. Hands off Masa. ><

Matchy: no sexy?

Fan girl: *uber blush* *swoooon*

Dai: *sticks his tongue out at Gackt* You left him behind the couch. He's ours now. *nods*

Matchy: Absolutely.

G: *leans on one hand, sitting on the stairs, looking confused*

G: You wanna fight for him? *stands up and smiles*

Matchy: Besides, you think we play instruments when we get together for... practise...?

Audience: OoooOOOooo~! Fight fight fight!

Dai: Toshi really knows how to use those drum sticks. *grin*

Audience: *loud individual fangirls* GO GACKT!

Matchy: Yeeah...

Matchy: *rises eyebrow at Dai*

G: *walks slooooowly down the stairs, pretending to crack his knuckles*

Dai: *grins* Oh, like you never wondered.

Audience: *giggle at Gackt* *sorta "Oooooo, lookit him go" type sounds"

H: *guides fan girl down towards the Quails*

Fan girl: *hides mouth with back of hand* *giggles @ Quails*

G: *seems to be in his element*

Masa: *pops up from behind the sofa* Hasn’t anyone asked ME about this??!

Matchy: No, cus we don’t care

Masa: ... oh, okay... just saying...

G: You're mine, and if anybody wants to take you, they're going to have to get past me. So which one of you gentlemen would like to enter the arena first? Or perhaps both of you?

Dai: *nods and stands up* Matchy, I go to defend your honour as a man. If I don't return, feel free to rape my corpse. *pretends to look tough at Gackt*

G: *big smirk* Eeeeeexcellent.

Audience: *snigger* *couple of fangirls wave little flags with big gold Gs on 'em*

Dai: *grabs the cucumber from his bag* You and your abs cannot defeat me and my cucumber!

Matchy: *holds a hand to his chest* I WILL AVENGE THEE, LOVER MINE~!!

G: *walks over to the dancing stage on the left, where there are two solid dance mats set up*

Dai: *follows Gackt* ... triskty.

Masa: ... but I don’t want to have sex with anyone, I just want a cuddle... ;__;

G: I tell you, we need to get TMR on here sometime, so we can make some Revolution over here. *steps up onto one of the mats* Still think you stand a chance, mortal?!

Audience: Awwwwww @ Masa

Masa: *wail*

H: *yells over* Hey, Gacchi? Can me and my ladyfriend steal the couch to make out on?

Audience: OooooOOOOOOoooooOOo~?

Dai: *grins* Oh bring it on man~!

Fan girl: *squeal* O_O

G: I guess so, nobody else is using it anymore.

H: *grin* *yells over* ~thanks~

G: *beckons to Dai and gestures to the mat*

Dai: *Gets on the mat, making a face at Gackt*

G: *grimaces* *presses a few buttons* Ready?

Dai: ... No. What are we doing again?

G: Dance Dance Revolution.

G: I am going to dance you into shame, Dai. Are you ready?

Dai: That thing Masa plays naked?

Masa: *sulk* Do not.

Audience: *giggle @ Masa*

G: Alright that's it. *presses the start button* Let's see how much you can talk after three rounds of this.

Masa: I merely played in my boxers once, cus I stayed over at Matchy's.

Fan girl: *looking sorta lost still* *can't believe Haido's still holding her hand*

Dai: Uh huh. *stares at the screen, cucumber in hand*

G: *uhm, dances. XD*

Audience: *cheers* *sing along to music, which is KinKi Kids*

Audience: *clapping*

Dai: *tries to play, not really doing that well* ... *breaks the cucumber in half and throws part of it at Gackt's feet* >>

H: *seducing fan girl in a very polite mother-wouldnt-be-shocked-to-see kinda manner*

G: *gasp* *dramatically and narrowly avoids the cucumber* Hahahaaha!

Audience: *b00 @ Dai*

Matchy: THATS RIGHT!! USE YOUR CUCUMBER ADVANTAGE!!

G: Your fake vegetables will never defeat me!

Fan girl: *honestly wouldn't need seducing in the slightest* *doesn't argue though* *_________*

Dai: Damnit! Matchy! Get me another cucumber! *hits Gackt with the other half*

Matchy: I'll get you some beans!!!!! *runs off*

G: ow! Hey, you're in for it once I'm done with this. *sticks tongue out*

Dai: You wouldn't hurt a man having sex!

Matchy: *runs back in with an assortment of wax fruits, coffee beans and various vegetables* *stands by Dai's side, offering weapons*

Audience: *laugh @ Dai 'n Matchy*

G: You gunna die.. Dai..!!

Dai: *takes some of the fruit* Bring it _on_!

Matchy: And then I get to rape the corpse ^___^

Audience: Eeeeeeeewwwwwwwww~

G: *is dancing and can't do much else* what the hell am I going to.. AHA!

G: *starts undoing the buttons of his shirt*

Dai: ... *throws some fruit at Gackt* Damn you!

Audience: *_____________* Ahhhhhhh~! *fan girl screams*

Masa: He's going to do the SEKUSHII COMANDO!!!!!

Matchy: Keep going my guitarist friend! he has no real sexy!!

G: I am ALREADY sexy! I don't need the Sekushii Commando!!

Dai: ;_; I thought I was your lover. *keeps going, throwing another piece of fruit*

G: *slips his shirt off his shoulders*

Dai: >> << *takes off his own shirt and covers Gackt's half of the screen with it*

Matchy: you are my loverrrr~

G: HEY!

Audience: *cheering Gackt on* *yell at Dai*

Dai: *grins* ^___^ *gives the audience the finger*

G: *grabs the shirt and sticks it over Dai's head*

Audience: *horrified gasp*

G: *sticks his tongue out*

Matchy: *rips the shirt off Dai's head*

Dai: *glares at Gackt, and pushes Matchy at him*

H: Ohhh, we're all taking our shirts off today, I get it ^^ *takes his off*

Fan girl: *o* *almost faints*

Matchy: GO GO GADGET ARMS~~!! *pokes Gackt mercilessly*

Masa: ...

G: AGH!!! *hops a bit*

Masa: If anyone's interested, we've got a new single out, and we're doing a valentine tour nationwide.

G: *trying his best to dance while being poked*

Audience: *laugh @ Masa*

Dai: *grins and dances as well as he can*

Masa: you might have seen the PV for our latest release on Space Shower... uh... yeah. We're Spiky, and I haven't been terribly informative.


Audience: *"Awwwww"s and cries of "Masa-chan!!"*

Masa: Come on and see us live, I'd love to see you, and maybe I'll take my shirt off.

Audience: *lots of nodding fan girl heads and jumping up and down clapping's*

G: *finishes the game* HAHAHAHA. Right, now. *pounces on Matchy and wrestles him to the ground*

Audience: Eeeeeee~! @ Gackt

Matchy: *gropewrestle*

Dai: Hey! Hands off the ... Matchy-nice! *kicks Gackt*

Fan girl: *a bit seduced by now*

Audience: *call "FOUL PLAY!* @ Dai*

G: *grabs Dai's leg and pulls him over*

G: *pins Matchy*

Matchy: C'mon Dai, TEAMWRESTLE!!

Matchy: achh! I am slaiinnn!!!

Dai: *falls down on top of Gackt* RIGHT! *starts tickling Gackt*

Masa: Uhm...

G: *Squeals like a girl, covers his mouth, then collapses and writhes around* WAAARGH!

Matchy: Aha! his weak spot!! TICKLE HIM!! *pouncetickle*

G: *wail*

Dai: *evil laughter and continues to tickle Gackt* Give in!

Audience in general: Awwwww~! Poor Gakkun!

G: NEVER! I WILL NEVER GIVE IN!!!

G: MASA IS MIIIINE!!!

Dai: You say that now. *tickles Gackt even more* But you will lo~se!

H: *playing with fangirl's hair and watching events amusedly*

G: Nooo~ooooo~~~ saaaa~aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!

Fan girl: *melting on the sofa* *o*

Masa: Our next live is on the 23rd of this month, at Y2K ROPPONGI....

Masa: How about... we share the Masa?

G: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *squealgigglewail*

G: *rolls away and scurries behind the sofa*

Audience: *random loud fan girl cries out "WHY DON'T YOU LET US HAVE THE MASA!?"*

Masa: Why can't we all get along?!

Rest of Audience: *laughter*

H: *kisses fan girl on the cheek and strokes her hair* * a lil embarrassed*

G: *clings to Masa* *biiiiig eeeeyes* o__o *wibble*

G: >>; *glares around and then stands up* *cough*

Fan girl: *goes bright red* *gives Hyde a quick kiss on the cheek* *swoooooooooooon*

Dai: *pouts* ... I won~

G: Did not >>

Dai: I did!

G: did not!

Dai: I did! I'm still over here near the mats. *grin*

Matchy: *quietly and diligently playing DDR*

G: Did not!! You two cheated! Double teaming is fine, but tickling is against the rules.

Audience: *calls of agreement*

Masa: I'll remember that in future.

Dai: What rules? There were never any rules!

H: Yeah, me too. ¬_¬

H: *cuddle fan girl* *whisper* I never asked your name...

Matchy: TRIPLE A PERFECT!!! I RULE THE WORLD!!!!

Fan girl: *gone all squishie* *whisper* Ta-tanaka..

Matchy: _I_ won the Masa.

G: It's the unwritten rule!

G: I could get a triple A perfect any day =P!!

Dai: _We_ won the Masa. We want the sex!

Matchy: *marches over, picks Masa up and marches off with him*

G: *quiet*.. just not when people are POKING me, and standing on the mat!

Dai: *runs after Matchy*

Audience: *cries for Masa* Masaaaaaaaaaa~!!

G: Hey hey hey *storms after Matchy*

Matchy: Come, my lover! lets take what's rightfully ours!!

Masa: *wibble*

G: Masaaaaa~ come to the one you loooooove~

H: Tanaka...? *laugh* *whispers* we're a little formal?

Masa: I LOVE YOU~~~ REMEMBER TO WATER THE PLANTS!!

G: ... .. .. we have plants? I have to water them?!

Masa: AND DON'T CRY FOR ME~~~

G: Water!?

Fan girl: *blush* Kari..

G: I wiiiill - get back heeeeeere!

H: Better. Hm.

H: #~Don't cry for me, Argentinaaa~ the truth is, I never left you~~~#

Fan girl: *bites lower lip* *small giggle at the singing*

Audience: *sway in time to Haido's singing*

G: *sulks back over to the sofa and sits down*

H: #~All through my wild days, my mad existence~~ I kept my promise...~# *to the fan girl* #~...don't keep your distance...~#

H: *smile*

Fan girl: *biiiig blush* *swoon*

Matchy: QUICK, GET HIS PANTS DOWN!!

Audience: *gasps and giggles @ Matchy*

H: Anyway, this sofa is for making out only.

Audience: OoooOOOoooOOoooo~

G: *rolls eyes* *mumbles to himself* Well, it's not like I've not had lovers stolen from me before, I mean, I suppose I should get used to it *stares thoughtfully off* * a high pitched violin begins to play, and a blue spotlight appears on him*

Audience: *laugh*

H: no, no! this is a Sad Moment!!

Audience: *go quiet, apart from a few giggles*

G: *nods miserably*

G: Maybe I should stop falling for beautiful people...?

A few fans in audience: We still love you Gackt! They can never steal us from yoooooouuuuuuuu~!

G: *smiles sadly at the audience*

H: maybe you should fall in love with... a mirror

G: Perhaps..

G: *produces a mirror and gazes lovingly into it*

Fan girl: *sorta, hiding from the spotlight on the sofa*

G: *jumps up and the spotlight goes off* Well, okay. To lead us out tonight - here's SPIKY!

*cut to where SPIKY ARE in fact, all ready to perform, despite popular belief*

--- Spiky play their latest release, n.e.w.s ---

Fan girl: *little peace sign as the end credits start*

G: *staring into mirror as program eeeends*</lj-cut>

Thank you to Masa, Matchy and Dai for making this show a success.

<u>Next Week's Guest = <b>MYSTERY</b>!!!</u>

<b>MESSAGE FROM HAIKU MEMBERS:</b>

<b>Gackt-</b>
<i>"Cucumber condoms
This week was brought to you by
Tomato Dance Dance"</i>

<b>Sa~aaa-</b>
<i>"A holier smile
I found a girl to hold tight
Ketchup flavoured show"</i>

<b>Masa-</b>
<i>"Spiky do it now
Our new tour is sure to please
Gackt wants my body"</i>

<b>Matchy-</b>
<i>"Coffee is best hot
We want to kiss the Masa
unless Gackt is there"</i>

<b>Dai-</b>
<i>"We like cucumbers
Though Matchy prefers coffee
We both did Masa"</i>

<b>Sa~aaa's New GIRLFRIEND-</b>
<i>"Sitting on the stage
He smelt of honey and warmth
He held my hand tight"</i>
<font size="-2">(Hyde, you've pulled!!! -Gacktxxx)</font>

<u><font size="+1">See you next week!</font></u>

h - A - i - K - u
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